Saturday, January 24, 2009

Chunky or Creamy?


For a long time now, the heated Peanut Butter Crusade has been going on, and today I'll be taking a logical approach to find which one is better. Firstly, creamy has a smooth, uniform texture which is why people favor it over crunchy, however this makes it 100% made up of the synthetic, processed "Butter" portion. Creamy lacks any actual "Peanuts" while Crunchy harbors the Butter portion along with real peanuts. Next is a contest of Authenticity. Peanut butter can be compared to other food in general in that it is considered more genuine when in a solid state. Creamy peanut butter closely resembles astronaut carrot paste while Crunchy is the equivalent of steak and potatoes. People often forget the very fundamental principle of Food Abstracta, being that the virtue of an abstract food is relative to how close it is to the original food base. Thus we see that while the best name a manufacturer can think of for a food is "Fruit Drink Product" or "Creamy Peanut Butter" the food is obviously synthetic and therefore in a crude and unhealthy state. If a food can boast a name such as "Crunchy peanut butter", or "Fresh Organic Vegetables" then it is at or near the original state of the original food and is therefore more genuine. Any one who thinks their theory can best mine, go ahead and step up, but don't forget your notes and references.

6 comments:

carmen said...

Creamy is the way to go...

Savannah said...

But crunchy is way better...

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm a crunchy fan.

Beckalita said...

CREAMY!!!

Chantry said...

I've loathed crunchy ever since I had braces. The little pieces of supposed peanut got stuck in the spaces between the wire.

And I wouldn't call 'peanut butter', in any form, anything close to authentic.

dwrichy said...

I'm a crunchy fan, as well. Where are YOUR notes and references?